Is Your Girlfriend Pregnant?
First of all, try not to panic. You may feel shocked or overwhelmed, and you likely have many questions flying through your head.
Take a deep breath and count to ten. Remember, your reaction and the words you speak can significantly affect your relationship.
We are here for you if you need to talk. Meanwhile, here are some answers to a few of the questions you might have:
How does she know for sure that she is pregnant?
If your girlfriend hasn’t already had her pregnancy confirmed at Bella or by her physician, you can encourage her to schedule an appointment as soon as possible. You can also volunteer to come with her for support.
We offer no-cost pregnancy tests and limited obstetrical ultrasounds so she can understand her pregnancy and her options.
How can I know for sure that the baby is mine?
Trust is one of the most important elements in a relationship. The relationship will not last without trust, even under the best conditions. If you have no reason to doubt your girlfriend’s faithfulness, it is important that you trust her at this time.
If your girlfriend consents, a non-invasive prenatal paternity test (better known as a DNA test) may be performed after seven weeks gestation. However, pressuring or even requesting that your girlfriend undergo testing could cause significant emotional distress and erode trust in your relationship with her. If you want to go this route, you may decide to wait until after the baby is born for a more accurate DNA test.
My girlfriend wants to have an abortion. What are my rights?
Legally, only the pregnant woman has the final say in whether or not to have an abortion. However, if you want her to carry to term, you should share your feelings with her in a non-threatening way and let her know the ways you are willing to help should she decide to carry-to-term. Ways you may be able to help might include co-parenting with her (even if your relationship with her has ended), providing financial support, and being there to help when she needs a break.
What if my girlfriend doesn’t want to include me in her plans?
There could be several reasons for this, but try not to jump to conclusions. Honest and open communication is the key to identifying and resolving issues.
If your girlfriend isn’t willing to talk to you alone, perhaps she would be willing to join you for a conversation with an unbiased third party. This person should be someone who can listen to you both and help you make the best plan.
A client advocate at Bella, a professional counselor, or a pastor may be good options to consider.
I’m no longer with my girlfriend but still care about my baby. What can I do to be a part of his/her life?
Let your ex-girlfriend know how you feel. Tell her you care about your child and would like to be a part of his/her life.
Ask her if she would be willing to sit down with you and make a plan for after the baby is born. If you are not on good terms with her, it may be helpful to seek the help of a mediator.
What legal rights and responsibilities will I have if my girlfriend decides to parent alone?
In most states, you must pay child support until your child is 18 years old. If you desire, you may also have legal rights for visitation, joint custody, or even full custody of the child.
Consult with an attorney in your state for further information.
My girlfriend plans to have the baby, but I’m not ready to be a parent. What are my options?
First, give parenting a complete and thorough investigation before dismissing the idea altogether. How you feel now may not be how you feel nine months down the road.
If, after careful consideration, you realize you are unable to be a good father at this time in your life, you have two options: She may choose to parent alone, or if she is in agreement, the two of you may make a plan for adoption.
What if we want to make an adoption plan for our baby?
It takes a lot of maturity to recognize that you are not ready to parent right now. Bella is not an adoption agency, but we can provide you with important information on this option.
We can also refer you to an agency or lawyer that does facilitate adoption. If adoption is being considered, contact us, and let’s talk.
We’re Here for You
Guys need support as well. Your emotions and opinions matter as you seek to navigate this pregnancy to the best of your ability.
Talk to our caring and nonjudgmental staff for the clarity and support you need. You are not alone.